It was a quiet night, at least on the beggining
by Garfield53
Summary: Why would Yuuki visit Zero years after their last encounter? AU. Crack fic. Like it? Say it. Don't like it? Please tell me why. Reviews always appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Alternative Universe. Crack fic. **

"Long time no see."

Zero was looking at the weather outside. He remembered other times with a weather like this, big snowflakes falling, hard wind blowing under this endless starry sky. His unexpected visitors were still standing before him, and he still was doubting what his eyes were telling him. But the smell remained the same. It was saying that a pureblood stood before him. It was saying that that pureblood was somehow Yuuki Kuran. She seemed to have waited patiently for him to believe his own eyes before asking:

"Can I come in? I'm worried for her."

Zero had smelled another scent, but it was so merged with Yuuki's that he had doubted of his own senses for a minute. But no, indeed, Yuuki was accompanied by a small girl. By the scent, he had already guessed she was hers. Without uttering a word, he opened the door wider to allow his guests to enter in.

Yuuki came in gracefully, the same as all those purebloods. The atmosphere was cold inside, but she seemed to be even colder than a piece of ice. She had completely taken those bloodsucker's ways of behaving. Zero, remembering the old Yuuki he had known years before, wondered how many times the book on her head had had to fall down on her nose before she could manage to act like that without even thinking of it.

Yuuki started explaining the situation. He listened to her while she was putting a younger version of herself on her knees. The miniature Yuuki was certainly adorable, but had way colder eyes than the original, eyes that weren't reflecting any of her inner thougths. She seemed to be a lifeless puppet, not uttering a word and not moving from her seat. It was fascinating how she ressembled her mother. Zero had seen countless photographs of the kuran family, especially those involving the two last generations, during his investigations for the hunter association. He would have mistaken his vision for a dream involving an old picture of Juuri holding a young Yuuki in her arms if not for this sickening smell. Smell of purebloods, and smell of Yuuki, who had become less and less present as time passed by, but still stayed strong enough to make him lust for her blood. He decided to swallow discreetly a few blood tablets so he wouldn't do a thing he would definitely regret afterwards.

* * *

After endless discussions (and a few arguments), she finally asked:

"So, could you lend me some clothes?"

He almost jolted to this unexpected developement. He remembered just in time she had mentioned a hunt on the vampire's side. He understood she wanted to disguise at least from the humans and nodded, indicating a room hidden in a corner. She went in with her little girl, who seemed to follow no matter what.

Zero summed up the situation in his head.

This had started with a rebel faction opposing the Kuran's domination that had planed to attack Kaname's weak spot: his family. Indeed, they would have suceeded if only the weak spot hadn't turned out to be a strong point. From what Zero had heard, Yuuki had got a little out of hand when she realised her kid was in danger. It explained why every member of the team that was probably in charge of the hostage taking hadn't been found in less than a good fifty different pieces scattered in an area of a few kilometers around the Kuran mansion.

Zero had to admit that since then, the entire vampire society had perfectly understood that, in the Kuran's point of view, the family was not to be involved with the negociations in any way. But the main part of the rebel group still remained unharmed. Yuuki and a few others (they were more hired to clean the place after Yuuki's passing than anything else from what she said) had planned to definitely take them down in a couple of days. For the time remaining, she wanted him to take care of her daughter. After the attack of the Kuran's residence, she wanted to hide her in the most unexpected place she could find. It was impossible to hide a pureblood in the hunter's world because it seemed only Yuuki was considered as untouchable. Zero almost sighed when she seemed to pass smoothly to another less dangerous subject. He indeed had warned every little hunter about the risk they were taking by harming her, but he didn't put much faith on defending the other vampires, so the hunters had guessed she was the only one that should be left unharmed no matter what. He at least had tried to be equal to everyone, without suceeding, he thought to chase the light guilt that was staying in his mind.

It was forcing Zero to accept his "niece" that had taken quite some time in the dicussion they had.

Yuuki came back in pure tomboy's clothing: worn out jeans, old shoes, over-sized shirt and lopsided cap. Zero suddenly understood why she needed to go to his place to find this type of clothing: he could hardly imagine any used sportswear in the Kuran's manor, or even less an ordinary base-ball cap.

As soon as she was ready to go, Yuuki waved goodbye to Zero, kissed her daughter on the cheeks, giving her a little part of her strengh and left as suddenly as she came. A faint smell of another pureblood lurked trough the open door, and Kaname waved to his daughter, haughtily ignoring the other person in the room, and the two dissapeared. While Zero was still trying to catch up with what happened, the little girl suddenly spoke out:

-"So, you're one of Mom's former lovers?"

Great, at least she was sharper than her mother. Zero just needed that to burst out. Luckily for the little child, the vampire hunter was too tired right now to do anything himself. He wisely decided to call the chairman Cross, that would be more than happy to baby-sit his grandaughter, because it was completely out of question for him to manage her alone without using violence.

* * *

The chairman's reaction was exactly as Zero expected it to be.

"I'm a REAL GRANDFATHER now!" had been the only coherent phrase he had yelled for a good hour.

After his foster son had called him to explain calmy that Yuuki had brought over her daughter, Kaien Cross didn't even take the time to hang up and ran straight to Zero's place. Then, he had almost broken open the door that, luckily, wasn't locked, Zero having already foreseen what was going to happen. Spotting the little one that was looking to this crazy adult with a doubtful face, he had ran to her and immediatly taken her in his arms. It had been a whole hour and he still hadn't put his grandaughter down. She seemed to not really enjoy the demonstrative grandpa she had suddenly got to know more or less by force. Kaien Cross, on the other hand, was overwhelmed with joy, examining her from all the possible spots, almost drooling on the poor child, exclamming on how she looked like her mother and avoiding the mention of her father while her uncle Zero was still in the room.

Of course, it wasn't the so-called uncle Zero who had wanted to be named like that, but the chairman. Since the little girl found verry funny to annoy her new uncle to the core (in that, she wasn't really different from her mother), se had taken the bad habit to find him the worst nicknames possible. "Uncle" wasn't that infuriating compared to the others.

Zero suddenly thought that the few days to come would be very, very long compared to usual.


	2. Journal, 1rst night

JOURNAL

Every character in this story has been very nicely asked to write down his or her view on the events of the day in a journal, in order to make you understand them better. Altrough Zero wanted to add he has been forcefully pulled in doing this, the one behind it is the chairman Cross. The narrator can not be considered as responsible of any of the contents of this journal, whatever they might be. It's only task has been to collect the views of the characters and assemble them in the same journal.

The narrator hopes you will enjoy your stay at the off-reccords Vampire Knight world.

* * *

DAY 1

* * *

ZERO

I'm so gonna kill this brat. Then her annoying mother and her husband. Then repress the vampire's rebellion like this pure bloodsucker did years ago.

Wait, Yuuki seems to lose control when someone tries to harm her kid, so I should be getting rid of her first.

Oh, and that bastard will go crazy too if I touch his family.

Damn, this kid's got too powerfull family to protect her. Can't do a thing or I'm dead meat.

I don't want to spend another day with that kid or I'll lose it. Why didn't she ask Cross for babysitting instead? Because the brat wouldn't have accepted to stay alone with that dumb grandpa? Well, can't really blame her for thinking that way, too.

Thinking of it, this day was too normal to not end like that.

* * *

KAIEN CROSS

My grandaughter is so cute, just like my little yuuki! How lovely... I'm a grandpa!

(The chairman drooled so much on the following part of the sheet that it has become only possible to guess some parts of it. Given that the contents shouldn't be that important, the narrator has supressed the rest of the chairman's point of view)

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

I'm already bored. Uncle Zero is fun to play with, but I can easily break him in no time. He becomes boring after a good five minutes. The chairman is already at my feet without me doing a thing, but I wonder how long he will last like that. He seems to be more difficult to deal with than uncle Zero.

Mom left for her thousandth honeymoon with Dad. I hope those lucky vacationners will come back soon. It's too boring here.

* * *

ZERO

What the hell did that brat write down? Have I just been used? By Yuuki?

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

That's exactly it, by Mom. What, you hadn't even guessed? Poor thing, you got dumped once again. It's not the first nor the last time this happens, so you'd better get used to it fast. Did you think Mom would stop to get some clues about who are her opponents, leaving some dangerous vampires unharmed? She tracked every little rebel as soon as she was finished with the ones who got sent to our manor. She's the type to go straight for their throats without giving a thought about the whole world. You should have known that.


	3. Chapter 2

Zero woke up quite forcefully that afternoon. He wouldn't even think about opening an eye before sunset, but two familiar voices were ringing into his head.

"Grandfather, he's still not waking up and I'm hungry!"

"Indeed, it's the first time I've seen him like that. Usually, when I put a feet in his house, he's already prepared for anything. That's strange."

"Not really when you think of the amount of blood tablets he has swallowed last night. How many was there, uncle Zero?"

Said uncle Zero groaned and finally opened an eye. He had a horrible headache, worst than anything he had experienced before. At least his room was still dark, the two intruders not needing any light to see their surroundings.

"Grandfather, have you ever seen a vampire being drunk from blood?"

"Never, why do you ask?"

"Because it's pretty obvious this guy is having a big hangover right now."

"Do you really think so? Well, it's true there's no alcohol here because it doesn't taste good enough when eaten crude for vampires, but drinking blood to this extend is still..."

"After all, he's just a mere human who got a little chewed by purebloods. It shouldn't surprise us much that his digestive system is so incompetent. Say, are you sure you're a vampire, uncle Zero?"

The chairman had to quickly shield his grandaughter from a chair, who flew over their heads and ended up crashing on the opposite wall.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" The vampire hunter's yell ended in a wail.

"Zero, take it easy with the kids, would you?" retorted Cross.

"I'm definitely telling Mom, and she's going to kill you right away when she returns!"

Somehow, Zero was expecting this to happen.

"Uncle Zero is a little grumpy when he wakes up. Don't you want to wait a bit?"

The kid stubbornly answered:

"No. I'm hungry now. And uncle Zero is always grumpy, time won't matter."

"Why don't you feed up on me instead? I would gladly give you part of my strenght, you know..."

Yuuki's child whispered something in Kaien's ear that made him grin, amused:

"Because it wouldn't be as fun with you, of course."

Just as if nothing happened, the kid turned once again to Zero, who hid under his pillow in order to prevent his head from bursting from the noise. Definitely the classic hangover symptoms. What the hell did those vampires put in addition of artificial blood in those damn tablets?

"Eh, babysitter! I'm hungry! Give me some strenght, or I'll starve to death! Mom is going to kill you if I lack of anything!"

A good day was beggining for the chairman and the little girl.

A bad day was still running for uncle Zero, the new babysitter.

In fact, he had barely closed an eye for the time the little pureblood demon had walked, accompanied by her mother, inside his place. She had treated him like a giant doll, whom she could do absolutely anything to. Including pulling his hair with an incredible strenght to wake him up if he ever fell asleep when she was bored, playing all sort of pranks with the full cooperation of the chairman and digging all around his very own place like it belonged to her from the beggining.

He was totally worn out. The thought that this feeling of complete exhaustment wasn't that natural struck him. His brain continued working for a few minutes before he understood what that meant.

The little brat had eaten all his strengh without even asking for permission, and now that he didn't have a single bit of energy left, she still wanted some more. It was for that purpose that she had woken him up. Did she want him to die of exhaustment that bad?

The miniature Yuuki was still standing at the side of the bed.

"My mistake, I thought you had a little more stamina than an average human, seeing how you became president of the vampire hunter association."

Zero mumbled, still under his pillow:

"You did it on purpose, didn't you?"

"I've got no idea what you're talking about."

The chairman Cross stopped the two, who were dangerously warming up:

"It looks like uncle Zero is lacking too much sleep, and doesn't know what he's saying anymore. Let him rest a little and come here, I'll feed you if you're really hungry."

The kid walked to the other corner of the room with the chairman, and started pouting:

"But it's no fun with you..."

Kaien Cross chuckled lightly. The little girl continued, higher in order to make it reach her uncle's ears:

"Uncle Zero is kinda like a volcano, don't you think? He seems calm at first, but he suddenly explodes for no reason when he's fed up. What a bad temper we've got here..."

"Well, I can't really say you're wrong on this point."

As they were chatting friendly, a very grumpy vampire litterally kicked them out of his room. Zero was definitely regretting to not have any lock inside his own house, altrough he _used_ to live alone _very peacefully_. And he was totally regretting that the past tense had to be employed for that statement.

Worst thing was that it wasn't even Yuuki who was freeloading.

He decided to stop his thoughts right here before going further. They weren't of any use in the current situation, so it was better to concentrate on more urgent matters, like making sure he still had some personal space in his very own house.

"Like I said before, a very nasty temper." Observed Yuuki's daughter a few minutes after the door had banged as if Zero was planning to break the entire wall with it.

As if the duo grandaughter-grandfather had guessed what the vamire hunter was now moodily thinking about, they continued chatting, but about the ways to break in someone's room without using the door.


	4. Chapter 3

When he woke up for the second time of the night, he felt a little better than before. It was still dark inside. He rose up unsteadily and aimed for his room's door. After a few tries, he suceeded in reaching and opening it. When he saw what was on the other side, he slammed the door, thinking he mistook it for another. After scrutinizing the room, he confirmed there was only one exit. He opened again.

And blinked.

Stood here, too shocked to react.

This was not his place anymore. In fact, he would've rather slept in the middle of a pureblood's den than here. Thinking of it, the general style reminded him too much of this icy atmosphere found in every vampire noble's manor. Luxurious rugs hid the raw floor, high-class (and obviously expensive) furniture made the space available seem tinier and the dark red dominant tone reminded him of dried blood. Zero wavered into this stranger's house, trying to figure out what had happened. And this damn hammer banging against his head at each of his steps!

* * *

Kaien Cross was in the corner that (according to Zero's memory) used to be a kitchen until some vampire hunter took over the place. As he didn't need such a thing, it had been left in total self-management for quite a long time. It was now brand new and overquipped with everything you could (or couldn't) think of. Cross was stirring something that could have smelled pretty good for a human's nose. The little brat was nowhere to be seen. Sensing a murdering aura right behind him, the chairman turned to face his foster son with the typical dazzling smile of the perfect housewife.

That only made the vampire hunter angrier, even thought it was quite difficult for him to look ready to kill when he was still not exactly able to stand on his feet without a steady support.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE? WHAT DID YOU DO TO _MY_ HOUSE?"

Cross's smile only grew wider, not taking into account the other party's mood:

"Well, my cute grandaughter and I both decided that this house needed some cleaning up. You would not believe how this place has been neglected... Or perhaps you do, it is you house we are talking about after all... Anyway, afterwards we thought it would be better if we made it a more confortable place while we were at it. I would say we got a little carried away, but you have to admit we did an awesome job nevertheless. Since I needed some cooking facilities, I figured you would always be better off with this in case you received some human guests too, so there is the kitchen... ."

Zero's brain was getting out of it's slumber. Anger and adrenalin allowed him to stop leaning miserably against the wall and try to aim for his foster father's throat. Said father avoided easily the attack and finished talking while dodging swiftly each of Zero's disordered attempts:

"The bill was deduced from your main bank account yesteday. Between, I didn't think you were so poor, my dear son, I had to transfer funds from some of the hidden accounts you left all over the world in case of emergency. Let me tell you this for your own safety: They are insufficiently hidden if even amateurs like us were able to find them."

An ironical voice continued:

"Who would have though Uncle Zero was so cautious? You did not seem like the type to be this twisted, congratulations. You are a cunning idiot."

She sprang out her leg just at the right time. Her temporary babysitter couldn't avoid stumbling on it and falling heavily on the kitchen's brand new tiling.

"A weakling and an idiot, still. And I am always hungry, so come for a snack when you have enough stamina to go by yourself. By the way, your papers are a in such a mess. To the point you almost don't need to hide their content."

Zero smirked evily. She smirked twice more in return.

"I said almost."


	5. Journal, 2nd night

JOURNAL

DAY 2

* * *

ZERO

Hell. This is hell. There is nothing more accurate to describe this feeling. Every single thought is ringing in my head, crashing against my brain, scratching my skull from the inside. My whole body is aching and my muscles are yelling in agony each time I try to use them.

I am so going to kill this brat.

She is dead meat.

Once I'll be able to move again.

This really looks like hell.

* * *

KAIEN CROSS

(The chairman has nearly ruined the whole journal with his drool, so he was asked to rewrite his part on a separate sheet of paper. However, it was not dry enough at the time the narrator was collecting the sheets, so she is skipping again his journal entry. Seeing he hasn't calmed down yet, what's going on inside his brains should be far from interesting, anyway...)

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

Hopefully I did just as Mom told me and everything went allright. However, I should have taken more strength out of him. He still had enough stamina to throw a tantrum, it proves I have been to lenient. Like Mom said, he really is something.

* * *

ZERO

So this was _her _idea?

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

Take a guess, uncle Zero. Oh, sorry, I had forgotten that even thinking was difficult for you.

Dad will be satisfied with all the data I have found in Uncle Zero's papers. Very interesting informations, and I am sure it will be useful to us. It is quite amazing how it shows he indeed is someone important in the vampire hunter association. I still have some issues with linking Uncle Zero with his job.

* * *

YUUKI

Thank you very much for your work, and have a good time with your family until we come back!

* * *

ZERO

...

This is the worst.

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

By the way, Mom, I found something really odd about all of Uncle Zero's passwords. They are all more or less the same, meaning "yuukikiryuu" or the opposite "kiryuuyuuki", sometimes with the capital letters, sometimes not, or with his first name mixed in it. No wonder it was easy for us to crack all of his confidential informations. Thought I wouldn't have bet on this password at first, I have to admit it. He's really a cunning idiot, after all.

* * *

ZERO

I shall stand corrected: _now _this is the worst.

* * *

KANAME

...

(this part was supressed due to it's highly insulting and violent nature. It was also only directed at one individual, so it is not like it really concerned the readers)

* * *

ZERO

(this was also filled up with answers to the last entry of the journal, so the author decided to stop those two before it gets out of hand... More than it already has)


	6. Chapter 4

He had hoped this could just have been a nightmare. It was something he could have woken up from, that ended with the night falling down on his place. When Zero blinked and lifted his head that rested on a blinding tiling, he realized the cold, harsh reality: This had been at one time his house.

And it no longer was. His eyes were able to focus now. Why the hell did Cross choose a pattern full of hearts and twirls? Well, at least he hadn't put it anywhere else than the tiles. Zero would have the small satisfaction to stomp everyday on the weird tastes of his foster father.

The vampire hunter felt dried up, completely lifeless. He slowly pushed on his two arms, sat, and checked his surroundings. Nobody was around, and he couldn't smell anything suspicious either. Zero rose up unsteadily, yawning and scratching the back of his head. His half-closed eyes examined one more time the room. Stirring, munching and grumbling incoherent curses, he headed for one of the sofas that seemed confortable enough. On his way, he somehow found a bottle of water and some blood tablets left on random furnitures he bumped into. He heard various sounds of said furnitures cracking and crashing down, but he couldn't care less. They were the ones that stood in his way to the warmth and comfort of this couch that was just a few steps apart from him.

At last, he felt something soft under his palm. Zero fell on it. He let the bottle roll down to concentrate on the tablets's wrapping, that was quite complicated to figure out at this time of the night. The vampire hunter felt his stomach flip when a sickening smell forced it's way through the tentalizing scent of the blood tablets, but he was too out of it to care.

* * *

The little girl had had troubles falling asleep that day. Her bed reeked of vampire hunters's smell, even after her grandfather had changed all the sheets that could be changed. He ended up playing paper role playing games with her almost all day long to try to distract her. Indeed, she would be forced to stay in her uncle's bed for a while because it was the only one available. When they had thought of getting at least two spare places where guests could sleep peacefully, they had found that the funds on Zero's accounts were insufficient. They merely had had to stick to their previous purchases, that concerned the living room. However, in Kaien Cross's mind, forcing his grandaughter to sleep on a sofa more than one day on a row was unnaceptable, hence why he had requisitioned his foster son's bedroom for her. The chairman had dragged one of the couches inside, in front of his grandaughter's bed, and put a hudge table in between. Said table was now covered with multiple character sheets belonging to every human or vampire they could think of.

Cross had been surprised at the number of names his grandaughter had pulled out of her memory... Until she had explained they were all annoying people, and that she always remembered those in case she would have the opportunity to take revenge later on. It at least explained why Aidou had been the first name to come after her dear uncle Zero. From what Cross had heard, he had been asked to be her tutor. However, the verb "forced" would have been more accurate since the rumor said he had swore he would rather die than teach any Kuran ever again and be held responsible for his or her faults by tyrannic family heads.

As they did not have any game master for now, the grandfather had had to create a game system complicated enough to keep the little girl busy with character creation until twilight. That hadn't been easy, and Cross wasn't sure he understood his own rules anymore. In the end, the little girl had fallen asleep in the middle of her complicated calculations: She had decided that since pureboods were perfect, she had to create perfect profiles for her family. Kaien Cross had almost let out a cry of relief when he noticed her eyelids were dropping.

Now that the night had come, the little pureblood was fully awake... And bored because her grandfather was snoring on his couch. She opened the door of the room before sneaking in the living room where she had noticed some vampire hunter was.


	7. Chapter 5

Zero felt someone hugging him from behind and his energy being sucked out of his body. He clenched his fists as he remembered another time, years ago, when somebody with almost the same smell clung to his neck before attempting to drink his blood. The sound of her own blood flowing into her veins, only a few centimeters away from him at that moment, was roaming in his ears. A different voice than _hers_ dragged him back from his struggle against the sudden crave for blood:

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?"

His unfocused gaze became a glance to the miniature Yuuki clinging to his neck. She had dragged a chair behind the couch, climbed on it and from there started to half-strangle her uncle Zero while feeding on him. After staring at him quizzically, she suddenly got off and ran in the direction of the room, calling her grandfather:

"The dumb hunter's not moving! I've overused it and now it's broken! Make it work one more time!" he heard her shaking the chairman and yelling at him.

Zero's body started to quiver on it's own. He put his head in his two hands. That had been a close call. What the hell happened? He hadn't had flashbacks of those times for years, the hunter association being so time-consuming he had forgotten everything not directly related to it. The little demon wasn't her mother, that was something he was fully aware of. What now, he had become a pedophile? This kid was totally right to step on him, seeing what he had become. He didn't know he was that dirty of an old man. Zero had sworn to himself he would never become like Kaien Cross, that freak of a foster father, but it seemed like he was on his way.

His fangs ached for blood. He clenched his teeth and threw all the remaining blood tablets into the water bottle. He knew it wouldn't extinguish his thirst at all, but he still wanted to try. Zero had always wished to drop dead the instant he would stop struggling. He dropped the empty container, that rolled on the floor. He wouldn't give in once again, it wasn't like this was the hunter's first time crushing his vampiric instincts. He felt a wave of exhaustion getting to him, and before he could understand what was going on, he was sound asleep once again.

* * *

Somehow, the chairman had been woken up by Yuuki's daughter. That alone was worth mentioning. Kaien Cross had to admit his grandaughter was really something. There was no doubt she got that from him, he bragged.

"Before you start mistaking dreams and reality, remember I'm not related to you by blood. If I'm such an outstanding kid, it's certainly not because of you."

"That's my grandaughter for me!" Squealed the chairman. Even in her sarcastic comments, she always found a way to make fun of him that was so cool he couldn't stop himself from loving her.

"The only interesting thing with you is that, no matter what I say or do, you will keep up the exact same attitude, fangirl grandpa." She stared at him the way you look at a very affectionnate but also very dumb pet.

"Perhaps it's also because you are worth being loved, my dear." She ignored him, bored by his neverending and incoherent praises:

"So, what's the problem here? Can it be fixed, or is uncle Zero already at the end of his rope?" Nobody answered her.

A good hour later, she had suceeded in waking up her grandfather a second time, and she had found out that the only way to keep him awake was to stimulate his inner family fangirl. He was definitely not ready for the technical explanation concerning Zero's tendency to randomly play dead once in a while. The hunter's gaze was currently unfocused, but his eyes were still open. The little girl sighed. There was no escaping it, she would have to let the chairman rant for a while, like an old car on a cold winter day would need to warm up before being able to work correctly. Or so she heard, because she was not really sure whether there were people outside stupid enough to not replace the old furniture by new ones. Her mother called it having money issues, her father said some people were nostalgic, she herself called it genuine stupidity. She tried to launch the motor again:

"How dissapointing. I thought uncle Zero would burst out near the end, but nothing of the sort. He's tamed, but it feels so frustrating not being able to release my anger on him. How am I supposed to relax now?"

"You could always turn to me, you know." Epic fail. He was still focused on his grandaughter.

"I already told you, you're no fun."

"I'm going to get jealous of my own son, you know."

"So be it, like I care. You'll be at my feet no matter what, where's the fun in that?" She stared at the stiff vampire hunter in front of them, that was just... Remaining still for the time being. "You didn't answer my question: Is he dead or what? Will I ever get the chance to pick on him again or will he behave like a vegetable for the rest of his life?"

"He's allright, and will get back to normal sooner or later. He's partly very hard to wake up, plus he has to make some brain adjustments with all the new stuff going on. He needs a little time to clear up his head..." Surprisingly, Zero's voice cut him, his eyes indicating he was awake.

"Do what you want with me, I don't freaking care anymore. I won't bother trying to stop you." The vampire hunter returned to his previous state as soon as he was finished. Indeed, he still needed some time before returning to normal.

"Well, I guess he's a little down, too, with things he thought that were from the past that come up in the present."

"Let me guess: like his love for Mom, I'd bet. That's some genuine overly emotional spirit we've got here. Interesting. I would like to try him, see how far it goes."


	8. Chapter 6

The chairman slowly poured some tea into his mug. Carefully holding the container in one hand, he turned around to see how his grandaughter was doing. His carefree smile did not waver at the quite impressive sight of the testing process, instead it grew even larger. Giggling, the chairman proceeded to the couch right in front of the one his foster son was currently on, leaving the coffee table between them -in case of emergency-.

Cross looked at his grandaughter, that was currently staring at Zero as if he was an equation she couldn't get altrough she was quite certain there was indeed some sort of logical explanation to this enigma. The chairman could not say she hadn't been diligent in her testing. She really had quite a lot of imagination when she really wanted to. Dropping on the couch besides her grandfather, Yuuki's daughter sighed heavily, probably tired from all her experiments, and gave her verdict:

"Pureblood vampires have of course the better reactivity, while other vampires are still quicker than any humans." She paused, still focused on the strange case she was evaluating. Said case was still slumped on his sofa, kind of like a drug addict enjoying the effect of his fix.

"Then, what of him?" asked Cross.

"I am still measuring, but given that as we talk the time is still passing by, we have reached a point where his reactivity is the lowest ever measured in history, from what I know. However, we cannot consider this as a proper measurement yet since the counting is not over. Should I say 'congratulations' or 'I am sorry', I wonder, though. If this goes on I will be able to include him in the category of the inanimated objects, whose reactivities are undefined by both human and vampire measurements."

"So, what can we conclude from those observations?"

"I would say... That the closest thing to him right now would be a zombie, altrough I have never seen one myself. His brains have went off inside his head. I even wonder if they get on often enough to avoid getting rusty. Well, he at least gets them back once or twice a month to not get his place snatched away by an irresponsible youngster not knowing a thing about life." She shook her head in dissaprobation and an amused glint appeared in Kaien Cross's eyes.

"If being young means you are unwise, does it mean you also are stupid, irresponsible and do not know a thing about life?" he retorted, smiling.

"I'm a pureblood. I'm different." From her tone, "being a pureblood" seemed to be the ultimate answer to every little question of the universe. Cross sighed. She must have had used it quite often during her short life.

"If purebloods do not get old neither die, they still begin their lives by being young and have to grow up just like the rest of the world." He pointed.

"Purebloods are different." There was the rest of the explanation. The two sentences were enough to make her little world seem logical.

"In pureblood vampire, there is also the word vampire that indicates a pureblood is just a vampire among vampires." The indifferent eyes of the little girl now seemed slightly annoyed. She really didn't like it when somebody talked back to her. Cross wondered if there ever was somebody that had ever dared to. Perhaps Yuuki, but that had to be it.

"We are the exception that makes the rule." She retorted.

"Even exceptions do abide to some rules, else we wouldn't be able to understand what they are. After all, rules were also created to define a common pattern allowing us to communicate and perhaps understand each other better, don't you thinkso?" The little girl jumped from the couch, not willing to get herself a free lecture.

"You're annoying, being both no fun and always right. It's easier to prove uncle Zero wrong." The chairman chuckled.

"I can't say you're mistaken. You look like him when he was younger: Always grumpy, and very angry each time I contradicted him." Yuuki's daughter glanced at her grandfather, a quite hurt expression appearing on her face.

"This is for earlier, isn't it? Okay, you are not boring neither stupid, just annoying because you're too sharp. Now could you stop saying I am like him, please? It's the most depressing thing I have ever heard."

She decided to stop giving him opportunities to find her weak spots. Today, she had had the proof that appearances are very misleading: her grandfather was indeed something. Now to find a way to distract him.

Sadly, the one that could have turned the tables and made a good conversation topic was not reacting at all. She approached the lifeless puppet with confidence... And hugged him tightly. Zero's empty eyes focused on her, and for a moment time stopped. He slowly raised a hand to grab her by the collar. The vampire hunter slightly smiled at her when he lifted her effortlessy, to gently put her down on her feet farther away from him. Then he returned to his lifeless state like nothing happened.

Kaien Cross giggled when he noticed his grandaughter's astonished expression. Her upset glare only fed his uncontrolable laughter that grew louder and louder with time. Wiping away the tears forming in his eyes, he still managed to explain that Zero had always been hard to wake up, grumpy and distant in the mornings, and that sometimes he would be so out of it he would act very out of character.


	9. Chapter 7

"Please stop pouting..."

Yuuki's daughter turned her head further away from her grandfather, arms crossed on her chest.

"I did not mean to offend you so much, my dear, I am truly sorry..."

"You still kept some intel to yourself. How can I trust you now?" Kaien Cross opened his mouth, but instead of answering startled and turned to look at his foster son. Eyes open but only gazing at the ceiling, he seemed to have awoken one more time. The little girl gave a puzzled glance at her grandfather, remaining on stand-by.

Zero slowly rose from the couch before stumbling away -probably towards the kitchen t able-, grabbing a pile of paperwork on the way. The two witnesses observed him for a few seconds, then turned towards each other to continue their conversation.

"I want to go out." The sentence stopped midway Kaien Cross's hand, whose initial aim was his beloved mug of tea. He slowly retreated to his initial position before turning to his grandaughter grinning and slapping his hands on his knees to tranform into his grandfather-full-of-love mode.

"Really? However, I think we should not go out for the moment. You are informed of the situation, right?"

"Don't worry, I am sure I am more aware of what is happening than the whole hunter association united, including you two." the little girl replied like she was stating the obvious. A groaning voice rose from afar, covering up the rustling noises now coming from the kitchen:

"And what makes you think you bloodsuckers are ahead of us?" A sound of metal falling on the floor was soon followed by vigorous curses.

"There are various valid arguments, but I will only mention the fact that we have never been unable to get the data we wanted." the vampire hunter just muttered some more curses, half of them directed towards the vampire race in general and a certain pureblood family in particular, the other aiming at his foster father's excentric way of "putting things in order"

"Still, I do not think this is a good idea, dear. It's too dangerous." tried the chairman.

"Too much of a pain, above all!" threw Zero.

"Furthermore, something tells me you want to go outside because you feel like picking on both of us." Yuuki's daughter glared just a second at her grandfather, and Zero let out a loud chuckle, followed by a sarcastic "bull's eye!".

"I am not asking for advice neither your permission, I am merely telling you of my plans for the day. You should be grateful I even bothered informing you of my intentions." The little girl retorted, smiling quite mischeviously in return.

"Same mother, same daughter." whispered Kaien Cross as he laid back on his couch, shaking his head but grinning slightly.

"Well, thank you." a satisfied glint appeared in the little girl's eyes as she walked towards Zero's room. Kaien Cross went to pick up his coat, stopping by the kitchen to smile at his foster son:

"I guess there is nothing to do about it."

"What are you so damn happy for? There is no way in hell I am going to let her do what she wants!" the chairman only giggled in answer to the hunter's protests..

"It is not like we have any choice, do we? The fools who tried to harm a Kuran daughter were taught how dangerous it is to mess with one of their circle. You don't want to see Yuuki angry at us for good because something happened, do you?"

* * *

He had protested.

He had yelled.

He had threatened.

He had cursed.

He had even argued: "Security reasons" was not a valid argument in Zero's eyes when the one saying it was a Kaien Cross trying very hard to control his laughing fits. Neither was the one stating that he had to do it else he'd consider fighting any potential threat too easily.

However, in the end, she had still won. And even now the chairman was avoiding his foster son's glare because his stomach was hurting too much already.

Zero felt the brat pulling his hair to the left, with just the right amount of strength needed to remind him that she could make him bald if she really wanted to.

"I want to go there!" obviously, the path leading "there" would force him to walk right before the hunter association's main entrance.

Hands shaking from repressed anger, the silver-haired hunter turned to cross the street, a little girl on his shoulders and a chairman Cross right behind him trying to take pictures unnoticed.

* * *

Kaien Cross kicked Zero's door open, holding his grandaughter in one arm and keeping his furious foster son away with the other.

Home sweet home, at last. Those two were really too much to handle right now.


	10. Chapter 8

"The problem here, is _not_ that you two fight over _some_ things..." Kaien Cross began, lifting a finger in the direction of his grandaughter and son. They were sitting on the same couch, but trying to get as far away from each other as possible. A very grumpy little girl, trying to rearrange her quite ruined clothes while still somewhat looking dignified, cut him off:

"So you have been nagging us over and over because of something that _is not_ the point?" Her hundredth attempt at looking at least slightly better ended up -once again- making things worse, and she glared at the vampire hunter at the other side of the couch. Said hunter was trying, in vain, to hide the satisfied grin that kept creeping to his face. He had to admit it, it had felt really good to help her screw up her overly perfect appearance. It maybe was because they were _too_ perfect, in a very vampiric way.

"The real problem here..." Continued the chairman, so caught up in his lecture he did not seem to notice that his pupils were back to their usual staring contest, "is that you cannot agree on anything, do you understand?" Glancing stubbornly at his foster father, Zero quickly returned to his furious glaring as he noticed the little girl's triumphant grin. The vampire hunter eventually grumbled back:

"Yeah, so what? She was asking for it, so she only got what she deserves." Cross, sighing heavily, turned away from his black and blue son to focus on his grandaughter, still absorbed by the game. One stubborn family member at a time was already more than enough to take care of.

"Your grandmother, Juuri, was quite uptight concerning her opinons, but was more than ready to talk about it in order to convince the other party with constructive agruments." Cross walked away, grinning like a real idiot -you had to admit it- upon recalling.

"You're biased when talking about her." The chairman jolted, turning around to deny vigorously his foster son's statement, but was cut off right away by another sarcastic voice:

"Exactly, it doesn't count. It's so obvious, grandpa." Sighed the little girl.

"Why do you have to at last agree on something when it comes to teaming up against me?" the chairman whined back.

"Because you're annoying." The vampire hunter and the little girl startled and looked at each other, surprised. They had let out the same sentence at the exact same moment. Both glared at one another, then turned away, crossing their arms.

Kaien Cross took a deep breath, an unconscious grin creeping to his lips as he was recalling the past.

"Well, let me tell you an incredible story. It is the story of how I met your grandmother, my dear, and I hope you will eventually understand upon hearing my version that I am not the least biased about her.."

* * *

Yuuki's daughter had fallen asleep. Of course not in the bed she had been given since her arrival, but her head resting on the Kaien Cross's lap and her feet on Zero's. The chairman's stories had that almost magical power to make anybody listening to it fall asleep. Instead of sinking once again in a state of adoration for his sleeping grandaughter, said chairman remained serious.

Zero felt that the lecture wasn't far ahead. He sighed, wondering what he had messed up this time to be brainstormed even thought he was taking care of himself for quite some time now. Why was Kaien Cross still considering him as a kid? It was really annoying.

His foster father was still silent, and Zero quite surprised. He was late compared to his usual pattern. Staring at the wall right in front of him and unconsciously playing with his grandaughter's hair, he finally whispered after letting out a tired sigh:

"You know what I can't stand in her? It's the fact that she's got Yuuki's appearance and Kaname's mind, the body of a child and a different soul. It's just plainly wrong, know what I mean? It should be stictly forbidden, shouldn't it?"

His foster son remained silent. Then muttered that he had never said anything like that. Cross answered:

"No, you didn't completely say it. But you thought it out loud right before her. It's even worst than saying it frankly. You think it's her fault she was born like that and in this family, that she had the parents she had? Take responsibility and at least admit it before it's too late. For her, not for yourself. I can't blame her for picking on you if you continue considering her like that. She has the right to be considered as an individual, not only a daughter of someone that looks like somebody else, too." Zero stayed silent for a while, then grumbled back, head turned away from his foster father:

"I had to endure that too, their expectations were even higher and I survived. Why bother?" Cross sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"It's not because there are things that have been decided that we should not make them better if we can. And you did not turn out that great, if you ask me." the concerned only groaned back, throwing his legs above the armpit in order to turn his back on his foster father, while said father kept on slowly shaking his head for what seemed to be a very long moment.

* * *

The chairman had returned to his usual grandpa-drooling-over-his-family attitude like nothing happened. He carefully put his grandaughter in his arms, got up, took her to her bed and laid down on his own couch, pulling his blanket to him.

Zero stayed a little longer on the other sofa. As usual, this annoying freak was always right when serious. But in this state, he was able to manipulate people's minds as well as a professional hypnotist. That, the vampire hunter knew he shouldn't forget either. However, all the efforts Zero was making couldn't help him to escape the image the chairman had stuck into his mind: The one of a child who's been labelled because of his parents. Who suffered because of what it's parents had done, or were supposed to have done. Who got a path traced since birth because of it's parents.

He once had heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome.

Destiny, fate, whatever that crap might be was definitely nuts.


	11. Journal, 3rd night

JOURNAL

* * *

DAY 3

* * *

KAIEN CROSS

(The narrator has noticed something odd with the chairman's entries, so she is currently investigating the matter. However, for anyone reading this without paying attention it would seem like a very ordinary and boring proclamation of love for his family that the chairman is so fond of. He has to be either really stupid or really smart)

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

Mom was right, Grandpa looks stupid but is far from being a complete fool. Opposite to somebody else she entrusted me to. Concerning this decision, I don't understand her at all.

* * *

ZERO

When are they coming back? When is she leaving? When will my quiet nights come back?

* * *

YUUKI

Can we come to pick you up yet, I wonder... Is everything sorted out already?

* * *

YUUKI'S DAUGHTER

I am finished with my part, Mom. Please come back soon!

* * *

KANAME

That is settled. We are on our way.

* * *

ZERO

How many seconds until their arrival?

* * *

KAIEN CROSS

(The narrator has suceeded in finding a deeper meaning in the chairman's entires. Those, from what she has understood, talk about outerspace aliens coming from pheromone planets. Seeing how irrelevant it is, the narrator thinks there is a 99,99% of chances she screwed up the decoding)


	12. Chapter 9

A shadow sneaked in Zero's dark living room. Another small one went in it's direction and greeted it. As their conversation was going on, their barely audible voices grew louder:

"Are you absolutely fine you don't want to take, say, one or two proofs?"

"Absolutely. We should not steal... At least not without a good reason." The smaller shadow seemed quizzical for a moment, or maybe it was thinking.

"So stealing isn't fine, but spying is?"

"Of course not! I decided to let you visit those two for a while and you conveniently found some interesting things, that is all there is to it." The taller shadow explained firmly.

A certain vampire hunter grumbled and turned on his couch. The two shadows froze, and a moment after a small whisper rose:

"Let's get out first."

* * *

"So, how did it go?"

The interrogation startled the little girl, and the answer erupted without hesitation:

"He's the worst babysitter I've ever had. He is totally useless!"

Yuuki stopped with a slight waving of her hand the furious rant that was just starting before asking calmly:

"Could you remind me how the others were?"

Her daughter looked away, visibly cornered, before mumbling reluctantly:

"They were not satisfying either."

"Precisely. So, what are we going to do from now on?"

This time the grumbling was almost too low to hear, even for another pureblood:

"I'm going to have to stay at his place until we find a better arrangement because he has been the only one able to keep me until you came back." lifting her head up, she immediatly added:

"But that's only because it was two against one!" Yuuki only slightly smiled in return.

"So, that settles it, then?"

"Yes" Yuuki's daughter had now a slight displeased look. After a pause, her mother asked again:

"So, you had fun at uncle Zero's place?"

The kid hesitated before answering frankly:

"Yes, he's very fun to toy with."

Yuuki chuckled lightly at her answer:

"Why had I already guessed it would be something like that?" She paused, then continued with a less playful tone:

"So, are you willing to go spend a few more days with him and you grandfather someday?"

Her daughter seemed to be deep in thoughts for a while before deciding reluctantly:

"I don't mind..."

Yuuki smiled at her, and regained her composure just before Kaname appeared, seeming to burst out from nowhere.

"We will make this happen. Plus we need to talk about one or two very interesting things you found out. The hunter association seems to have willingly forgot to mention them, and I want to avoid to make that public before we dicuss the matter with them." And so the conversation turned onto the lucky omissions of the association.

"Uncle Zero will be happy next time we meet. Busy, too." Someone thought.

* * *

Zero's place had recovered it's usual calm atmosphere, to the silver-haired hunter's complete satisfaction. However, Kaien Cross had apparently thought he was forced to tag along just to make it more lively. Zero sighed. After yelling for the thousandth time that he would like to treasure his eagerly awaited quiet night _alone, _the chairman suddenly turned at him with a suspicious look.

"Zero, I have something very important to confirm. It's not only for my personal peace of mind, but also for the sake of many others."

Pausing dramatically, he looked straight at his (almost) worried foster son.

"What's my grandaughter's given name?"

Why that of all things? Zero tried not to look too surprised. If Kaien Cross still hadn't found out two or three little things about the Kurans, it was all good for him: it indicated that pure bloodsuckers were able to surpass one of the nosiest vampire hunters's information network. He would have to keep this in mind when dealing with them in the future.

Zero at last broke off the heavy silence:

"Don't know, don't care. A brat is a brat."

When remembering this moment, Zero thought that he never could have guessed what came next:

The chairman Cross jumped on him, hugged him to the point of putting him in a critical lack of oxygen and started weeping his heart out. Zero froze for a second before trying to shake him off. Trying, because despite all his desperate efforts, his foster father would not let go by any means. While his shirt was being wet, he felt his ears become deaf from Cross's incoherent shrieks:

"She didnt tell me! She didn't tell me at all! Wasn't I good enough as a grandpa? Have I failed? I'm sure she hates me!"

Zero stopped moving after a while, hoping it would end soon: it was already too late for both his shirt and his ears, anyway. He still attempted to shorten the length of the torture:

"But why didn't you ask her?"

Wrong move: the cries only went higher, and their perpetrator threw a few punches.

"She wouldn't tell me at all! She said her parents told her not to trust strangers and not to give off her name to anyone! Tell me, Zero, I'm not just anyone, I can be trusted, right?"

Kaien Cross, teary-eyed, looked up to his foster son, clinging to his neck. Said son would have bursted out angrily already, if this way of behaving didn't remind him painfully of somebody else, what seemed centuries ago. For a moment time was held back while Zero was lost in thoughts and his foster father was wiping his tears, that threatened to spill out again, with his son's shirt. The fact that he had already cried a river and that one or two tears more wouldn't change a thing didn't matter. The time was just wrong for this, period. If his son was determined to not shed any tears for a certain matter, altrough the chairman didn't approve of this indifferent attitude of his, he didn't want to be the one to make things even harder.

Then, as quickly as it came, this instant was gone. Soon enough they returned to be just the overdemonstrative chairman and just his insensitive son: Zero was glaring daggers at this stranger weeping on his shirt, and said person looked very dejected as he buried his face in said ruined shirt once again, yelling that Zero was too mean, not trusting him at all.

As soon as Cross's grip got weaker, his foster son took advantage of the opening, throwing him away. He then headed to the kitchen corner and started digging around. The chairman fell on one of the couches and asked:

"Could you spare me a few ones too? I'm beggining to feel hungry..." The turning and tossing continued as Zero wondered out loud.

"What, blood tablets? Weren't you human the last time I checked?"

"I'm the vampire without fangs, remember? Sometimes I am hungry like a human, some others like a vampire, altrough I can't calm my thirst only with blood tablets." The search was becomming more and more brutal as Zero was growing tired of Kaien Cross's habit of always hiding his tablets in the most unexpected places.

"Whatever. Where the hell did you hide them this time, old man?"

"In the only locked drawer, here's the key..."

The chairman heard a loud cracking noise, and a satisfied grunt.

"Why, but why are you so violent? Why must you break everything?" Kaien Cross sighed as Zero walked past him, holding a jug in one hand and a single glass in the other. He put both on the coffee table and pushed them to chariman's side.

"Why must you hide everything?" retorted Zero as he pulled the tablets out of his pockets before throwing some at the other end of the table.

"Don't tell me you're swallowing them without water again! You know that with the same amount you won't feel as full as if you drank it like blood!"

The other party growled as he put several pills at once in his mouth before swallowing them.

"Quiet, damnit..."

* * *

**Author's note: So, this is the end for this crack fic. Thank you very much for following my deliriums until the end, what gave me the strenght to continue on writing for so long!**


End file.
